The Doll

I wrote this on New Years Eve.  Took me at least an hour.  I've read stories like it that probably influenced me.

Snow was falling into the square.  On one side of the street sat the toy store.  Jack loved to peek into the windows at night.  Mr. Havensham enjoyed creating little scenes with his toys in the window.  There was a rocking chair with a beautiful doll seated therein, holding a little brown bear.   Around her feet was a train set, and he could barely hear the little electric sound it was making as the tiny engine made its circuit again and again.

Suzette was Mr. Havensham’s daughter.  When he was asleep in the back of the store, she would sneak into the toy rooms where her imagination became real.  She would race the planes around the corridors.  She would carefully unbox the games and play with her stuffed friends throughout the night.  This had been a routine for her for as long as she could remember.  But tonight she looked  through the window at the front of the door and saw a young boy peeking in.

What fun!  She thought as she bounded up near the window.  Ha!  She threw a small soft football at the window.  The boy startled and stepped back, and then put his gloves around his eyes and peeked in.  She could see his little mouth calling out in excitement.  So she stepped gingerly around the toys in the display window and stood against the glass, placing her hands against it.

Jack waved a small hello to Suzette and said something, she knew not what.  She spoke back to him, but it was equally futile.  She held up a finger to signal him to wait, and disappeared back into the store.  Jack tried to follow her with his eyes, but no sooner had she disappeared then she reappeared with a dry erase board in her hand.  She wrote on the board, “What’s your name?”

Jack tried to say his name several times but she wasn’t getting it.  Then he smiled, leaned forward, and breathed hot air onto the window.  He wrote his name, and he could see her lips pronounce it.  Then she smiled.  She waved and mouthed his name.  “Hi Jack.”

He pointed to the front door, but she sadly shook her head.  She made a twisting motion with one hand against the other.  “Locked.”  She said.  She then sank to her knees and smiled, writing on the whiteboard.  She held it up for him.  “Come back tomorrow.”  She pointed to the words and then eagerly stabbed her finger in his direction a few times, saying “You.”

Jack found it strange to meet such a pretty girl like this, but he was very excited to see what was in store.  He said, “ok” and put his hand against the glass.  She did the same as if to touch his.

The following day, Jack came to the same spot.  The scene had been changed.  Where the little doll sat was now the smiling face of Suzette.  She waved to him and then turned away and back again, this time holding a little present.  She opened her mouth into a round smile and produced two cupcakes.  She sat one in front of him inside the glass.  And took a bite from hers.  Chocolate stuck to her teeth as she made a ridiculous squinty-eyed smile at him.  He pretended to eat through the glass, amused, but a little disappointed.  He was looking down on his cupcake, when he saw in the corner of his eye her kneeling.  She tapped on the glass.  He looked up into her eyes.  She was beautiful.  Her skin was perfect and white.  Her hair was red and done up in a bow.  She wore around her neck a red and black choker with a pendent dangling from its center.  She wore a dainty dress and her other hand was pulling something from a pocket on the dress.

It was a key!  He smiled broadly as he saw now what the surprise was.  She got up to race him to the front door.  She unlocked it and cracked the door.  “I can’t let you in.”  She said in a snobbish voice which she betrayed with a giggle.

“Please” he said, elongating the vowel into a small whine.

“Oh, all right.  Just don’t break anything.”  And with that she threw open the door, “Tada!”

Jack ducked in from the snow and brushed flakes off of his coat before removing it and setting it by the door.   “Whoa, this place looks big at night!”

“I’m not really supposed to have visitors, but daddy is sleeping.  I suppose you won’t hurt me.”

He laughed, “This is so incredibly, super, awesome, cool!”  He looked up at the long aisles of toys.  “I’d never get bored of living here.”

She faked a yawn.  “Trust me, you would.  I’ve been here my whole life.  It’s no fun being alone in here.  But I do have lots of adventures.”  She handed him his cupcake.

“Gee, thanks!”  They laughed together and shared cupcakes.  She took him through the store, and they would pull out toys and games.  He had to teach her most of the rules for the games as she’d only really ever had herself to challenge.  Every night from then on, he would come to visit and they would play until they were quite tired.  He would help her clean up and leave her alone again.  She was always sad to see him leave.  She had grown quite fond of him.

“What’s that?”  He asked her, pointing at her choker.  She instinctively drew up her hand and covered it.  “What?”

“Your choker, you are always wearing it.”

“Daddy made it for me.”

“Can I see it?”

“No.”  She pulled away, “I’m never never never to take this choker off.  Daddy says I’m never to remove it.”

“Jeez, your dad said that?   What about when you take a bath.”

She smiled and kicked at him.  “Never.”

He let it go, but would  occasionally ask to see it, and she would always refuse.  He could not even touch it.  Winter turned to Spring and soon it would be Summer.  They had become very good friends by now, and not a day would pass that they would not meet.

And so their friendship continued for years.  Sometimes in the daytime, Jack would peek into the store and see Suzette’s father smiling and helping customers.  He would ask for Suzette, but Mr. Havensham would dismiss him saying that she was lying down in the back.   She might be getting fit for a dress, or she might simply be resting, but she would never come out during the day.

Jack had never had a particular interest in the girls at his school.  Suzette was his best friend, and he found himself terribly in love with her.  He did not want to press her father however, who seemed annoyed when Jack would ask about her.  “She’s very special, and I don’t want you playing with her.”

But he would be going away to college soon, and he wanted, more than anything, to have Suzette with him.

 “What’s this?”  She asked one night.

 Jack produced a small basket with a sheet over it.
“
It’s a picnic basket.  Let’s go across the street to that park.”  He flicked his head in the direction of the small park down the street.

“I can’t go outside, silly.”

“Oh come on.  It will just be for a little while.  I just think you shouldn’t have to spend your entire life locked up in a toy store.”

She peaked over his shoulder at the park.  Then she frowned, “I can’t”

“Why not?”  He was a bit annoyed that she was so cowed.

“My father does not allow me to leave this store.  He says it is important for my safety.”

“Oh come now.  I practically live out here.  It’s safe!  Nothing is going to harm you.”

“My father expressly forbid it.  He says something very bad could happen to me.”

“Your dad sure gives you a lot of rules to keep you from having any fun.  Don’t you want to meet other kids?  Don’t you want to enjoy this with me?”

She seemed frustrated.  “Of course.  But daddy –“

“Look.”  He interrupted.  “I like you.  I made you this meal.  The least you can do is join me.”

“I can’t.”

“Suzette.”  He stared at her.  “I am in love with you.”

Her face flushed, and she whispered, “I love you Jack.”

“Then come, have this picnic with me.”  Jack had spent all week finding a necklace to give Suzette as a present.  He felt its weight in the basket, and he couldn’t help but feel annoyed at the control her father seemed to have over her.

Tears were welling up in her eyes.  “I can’t.”

Jack delivered his ultimatum.  “Ok, well I’ll be right over there in that park eating. “  He started walking off.

“Wait! Jack!”

“Join me if you wish, or stay in there.”

Jack walked across the street and into the park where he sat up a blanket.  It was dark, but the coldness was gone.  The night was very comfortable.  “This will work.”  He peeked into the basket at the necklace.  “This will work.”  He repeated.

He sat there on the blanket for almost half and hour.  He was tasting some of the pudding, but he wasn’t really so hungry as he was excited.  He smiled when he heard footsteps.  He turned to see Suzette.

“Ah, you managed to get over here in one piece.”  He joked.

She was trembling, obviously very nervous about defying her father.

“There, there.”  He calmed her, “sit down, I have something for you.”

She looked at him and did as she was told.  Her breath was short and shallow, but she trusted Jack.

“Are you hungry?”  He offered her some bread which she took.  She sunk to her knees and put the bread into her mouth.

“Suzette.  I want you to be with me.”  She looked up at him.  Oh this is what she wanted, too.

“I’m scared.”

“Do not worry.  I know how to care for you.  There is no one in the world I want to share my life with.”

“But father would never allow that.”

“It’s not up to him.  You are becoming a woman, and I am becoming a man.  Do this with me.”

She tried to relax, and swallowed the bread.  She looked for something to drink.  He pulled out a little wine.  She looked at him, “I’ve never had wine.”

“Oh?”  He uncorked it and poured a glass.  “I think you are going to be experiencing many firsts from here on out.”

As confidence built within her, she took the wine and took a few sips.  She smiled and tried to be polite.  She knew Jack had gone through so much, and she didn’t want to rob him of this, “Thank you, Jack.”

His face softened and he smiled, just as he always did.  “You are very welcome.  Here –“  He pulled out the necklace.  “I got you something.”

Suzette’s eyes were getting heavy from the late hour and the wine.  She looked at what he was holding and saw the necklace.  It was beautiful.  But then she realized what this was.  Her free hand went to her throat.

“You’ve had that since you were a little girl.  Isn’t it time to retire that old choker?”

“Father says I can never remove this.”

“Oh?”  This was too much.  “Why?”

“He says if I remove it that –“  She choked “it would mean the death of me.”

Jack was livid, “How dare he!  What monster would threaten his flesh and blood that way?”

“No, he loves me.”

“Come off it, Suzette.  You dad keeps you in that little cage to be his pet until he dies.  He isn’t doing this for you.”

“I want to go home.”  She said softly.

“But Suzette—“

“I want to go home!”  She screamed.  He felt bad.  How could she not see reason?

“Fine.  I’ll take you home.”  She was trembling.  He walked her back to the toy store.

When they finally settled down inside, she sat on the floor and pulled her legs in.  Jack was visibly upset.  “Jack”  she looked at him pleadingly.  “I’m sorry, ok?”

Jack wouldn’t look at her, but couldn’t avoid her for long.  He finally surrendered and met her gaze.  “Suzette, I don’t mean to push you so hard.  But – “  He sat next to her, “I’m leaving.  I’m going away.”

She did not seem amused at all, and her mouth frowned tragically.

“But, but—“  He took her hands, “I want you to go with me.”

She looked as if her heart were breaking.

“Suzette?”

She could not form the words, but tears came, and then she cried as if stabbed.

He put his arm around her and rocked her while she cried.  What was holding her here?

“My dear Suzette, you do not realize how much I love you.”

“Then stay here.  Stay with me!”  She cried.

His brow furrowed.  “Stay with you?”

“Please, Jack.  Don’t go.  Don’t leave me here.  Stay with me.”

As he rocked her, her sobbing slowed, and he realized that she had cried herself to sleep.

I set her on the floor and went to find her a pillow and blanket from one of the aisles.

He set her up cozily.  Then he saw that locket.  That damned locket.  Her damned father.

He reached down to it and curled his finger around it.  “Your father doesn’t own you.  I love you Suzette.”  And with that, he snapped the choker from her throat.

Suzettes eyes snapped open and she inhaled sharply, but before she could scream, her head fell backwards, and then dropped from her body, rolling a foot or two away.  Her body fell  limp and lifeless.

Jack was holding the choker in complete shock.  He had no breath at all.  He shook and felt sickness move through his entire body.  He finally found his breath and screamed.  He did not stop with the first lungful of air, but continued screaming, pawing over her body.  There was no blood, just parts.  Her limbs fell from her torso, held close by nothing but the fabric of the dress.  She collapsed into pieces.  Jack continued screaming.

“What the devil?”  Mr. Havensham appeared  from the back room.  He was slipping his glasses on.  “Who are you?  Get out of my store.”  He lifted jack by his neck.  “Jack?”

Jack could not meet his gaze, instead howling with grief, staring at his beautiful Suzette, broken apart like a china doll.

“Jack!  Calm down, boy.”  He looked down at Suzette.  “What are you doing with my Suzette?”  He shook Jack.  “Jack!”

“Your daughter!”  Jack was in shock.  He passed out.

When he finally came to, he recognized that he was in the back of the toy store.  “What did you do with Suzette?”

Mr. Haversham looked over from his workbench.  “You’re up.”

“Where’s Suzette.”

Mr. Haversham pointed over to the shelves.  “She’s over there I suppose.  Well—“ He motioned to some other shelves.  “Over there as well.”

“What?”  Jack’s eyes were so filled with tears and stinging that he could barely make out the collection of arms in the bin on one of the shelves.  “Where is she?”

“My boy, you are starting to scare me.  Suzette was just one of my dolls.”

“What?”

He sighed, “Am I going to have to repeat everything for you, son?  She’s just a doll.”

“But I talked with her.  We’ve been friends since I was a young boy.”

Mr. Havensham laughed, “Oh my boy, you mustn’t go around announcing your insanity so boldly.  They lock you up for that sort of nonsense.”

Jack was sick with grief and disbelief.  “This is a nightmare.  What’s this then?”  He saw the choker on the table.

“That?”  Mr. Havensham retrieved the choker.  “Some of the dolls use these to hold the stuffing in.  Suzette was pretty special.  I made her when I was much younger, with a friend of mine.  Well, he did most of the work.  I remember him telling me about the energy he had placed into the doll, and that the choker was his sign.  If his choker was removed, then all of his work would be undone.  But look!”  Mr. Havensham held up a head.  It was Suzette’s.  “I know how much she means to you, boy.  So, come back tomorrow.  I’ll make her as good as new.”

“Really?  As good as new?”

“Better in fact.  Get some rest and come back tomorrow.”

Jack felt hope return.  Suzette would be back.  He promised himself he would never try to take her away again.  He went home, and though his heart was heavy, he felt his nightmare might be over.

The following day, Jack reappeared.  Mr. Havensham was finishing up with an elderly couple.  He waved to Jack and thanked his patrons before wiping his hands on his shirt and reaching out to shake Jack’s hand.

“Jack, my boy.  I’m sorry I always kept you from Suzette.  She was so rare and precious to me that I did not want to be separated from her.  Master craftsmanship is written all over her.”

“Is she here?”  Jack produced a present.  “I have something for her.”

Mr. Havensham looked down at Jack, almost pityingly.  “Sure, Jack.  She’s in the front.”

Jack looked through the store, but didn’t see her anywhere.  Then he spotted her.  His heart sank as he stepped towards the front window.  There she was, his Suzette.  There she was sitting in the rocking chair.  She was holding a small bear.  A train was racing around her feet.  He sat there, watching her, remembering everything.  He then stepped into the window with her and opened the present.  He put one cupcake in front of her and one in front of him.  Though he took a bite, and though he managed a few small chews, he was unable to swallow.  He watched here lifeless eyes as they stared past him.